Read a blog post the other day:

A man in Iowa, in front of witnesses, fed his 5 month old puppy bowl after bowl of beer. When the pup urinated on the carpet, he punched him over 30 times in the face and killed him.

Senseless right?

Reading this brought wave after wave of outrage. And it has continued to haunt me till now. Why do people do such things? Why do humans abuse their right to be at the top of the food chain?

It's just not right to bring a puppy home, and kill it with your own bare hands. From the dog's point of view, we are their universe. Their lives are built around us, our schedules and our habits.

The worst part of this is, I'm sure the puppy did not even know why he was being beaten up. Imagine yourself, intoxicated, bewildered and frightened, and the person you love and trust comes along to pulverize you to a pulp.

Even with his dying breath, he must have still loved his owner. And this is what makes me so mad.

How can we, the civilized human race, take such unconditional love for granted? Why do some of us feel the compulsion to inflict senseless pain to another being so defenseless?

I can affirm my husband loves me, hehehe...

& I am thankful for the fact that he tries his best to be patient and to understand. (although most times he simply thinks I am throwing another of my tantrums)

But this only serves as an affirmation of his love for me because I know just how difficult it is to not be on the same page with someone, yet to try to see their point in order to be supportive.

Marriage life has it's up and downs, all I can say is I must learn to keep the faith. Yet, I'm a creature of habit who always needs to be in control, thus I will usually try to predict end results based on past track records as references.

I must learn to let go of the past, to stop looking at him through coloured glasses, yet at the same time, it's so hard to do that, cos' I'm so afraid to get hurt that I dun wanna be vulnerable.

*Sigh* I thought life was supposed to get easier once I became older since I'm supposed to be wiser, but though I'm hitting 30 in less than 6 months, I'm still beset by troubles and woes of pubescent teens. Looks like I'm far from maturity in the state of mind.

二人同行

用期待加上宽容 在加无止境乐观和等候
以为这些付出等于美好结果 你却说 凭什么

我相信你爱护我 只是爱没有想像中的多
对天空的辽阔来说云算什么 你不会懂我渺小得多宽容

爱你不重我要自己不要放开手
不痛不痛 心却独自跳的好寂寞
幸福那一个美梦 是二人同行才有
你渐渐缺席让我被挡在未来的入口

爱你不重尽管我无力再向前走
不痛不痛 就算辛苦的震耳欲聋
爱你我爱到最后 剩回忆这个朋友
爱情从二人同行变成我一个 默默后承受

我想过很多以后 幻想过快乐也愉悦心痛
爱就像是偏执的风带我升空
只问前进忘了要怎么降落

I dun consider myself to be an emotional person, but the other day, Fussy said I always have lots of "feelings" whenever things dun go my way.

This is considered normal isn't it? I mean when things are going great, and if I were to be sitting there, mulling over everything all the time, then what am I? Some psycho freak?

It's only when things dun go right, that you start thinking about stuff and how to make them right, RIGHT?

But, I guess in Fussy's mind, this works differently.

I'm just missing the closeness between us, which seems to fade abit more with each passing day. And this is just our 3rd year of marriage, and we dun even have children.

Is the bond between us so fragile, that it will be rendered useless with minimum impact?

"He is my other eyes that can see above the clouds;
my other ears that hear above the winds.
He is the part of me that can reach out into the sea.

He has told me a thousand times over that I am his reason for being;
by the way he rests against my leg;
by the way he thumps his tail at my smallest smile;
by the way he shows his hurt when I leave without taking him.
(I think it makes him sick with worry when he is not along to care for me.)

When I am wrong, he is delighted to forgive.
When I am angry, he clowns to make me smile.
When I am happy, he is joy unbounded.
When I am a fool, he ignores it.
When I succeed, he brags.

Without him, I am only another man.
With him, I am all-powerful.
He is loyalty itself. He has taught me the meaning of devotion.
With him, I know a secret comfort and a private peace.

He has brought me understanding where before I was ignorant.
His head on my knee can heal my human hurts.

His presence by my side is protection against my fears of dark and unknown things.
He has promised to wait for me... whenever... wherever - in case I need him.
And I expect I will - as I always have.
He is just my dog." - Gene Hill

After a self-imposed month long hiatus from writing, it feels so odd to be sitting in front of the laptop to phrase my thoughts into legible sentences.

Man, it's been quite a month. First, I bloody passed my practical driving test after 3 attempts.

One week into driving and I manage to get a summon from LTA for driving in a bus lane during peak hours. I also somehow reversed my car into another stationary car in the multi-storey carpark. So sick...

I suppose all's well that ends well though, cos' I wrote in an appeal for a waiver of the composition fine and it was approved. For the other, we settled with the other car's owner privately and total damages incurred for doing up his and my car came to SGD330.00. All these have given me an unexplained paranoia of driving, BUT I'm trying my best to get over it and move on.

That was the bad stuff, now for the good stuff.

We've been pretty adventurous lately, checking out new places around our neighbourhood, in Portsdown Road. This is really a gem find, and a helluva chill out playground.

We went to Klee, at Jules's recommendation and it was great! The place serves one of a kind cocktails and they also have a mini sushi bar, with the chef in authentic Jap get-up. The cool thing about this place is they dun have a menu and you just tell the bartender what kind of alcohol you like, e.g., vodka, gin, rum etc. Then you choose from the wonderful array of fresh fruits and berries to mix your very own cocktail. By the way, all the fruits are cut and pureed in front of you, so it's quite a show.

I had Belvedere vodka with passion fruit, then an apple martini which tasted fabulous.

On a separate occasion, we also checked out this mad retro, lao kok place named Colbar which serves really good western food. Saw a chocolate labradoodle there which belonged to a very friendly ang moh. Her name is Maddy or Maddie, I'm not too sure. She's turning 4 and is the most amazing, stable, docile large breed dog I've met in a long time. Her owner explained they work with autistic children and children who have difficulties in learning. According to him, she's really good with them. SO COOL, huh?

Lastly, the super bad stuff.

My long-awaited trip to Dubai has gone up in a puff of smoke. A little background here, Fussy has known since Dec 09 that he's got to go up to Dubai in Feb 2010 to work for at least 2 weeks and since Feb is a really short month, no matter how he plans the trip, he will most likely clash with the CNY week.

Since V-Day also falls on CNY this year, I expressed an interest in tagging along as I really dun wanna spend V-Day alone.

But the trip itinerary really depended on whether Hewlett-Packard could deliver the hardware on time, so that he could start work and his presence would be justified. He finally got the green light and I went ahead to renew my passport and also book my air ticket.

The cool thing was, my aunt is also going up to Abu Dhabi to visit her boyfriend and we had planned to shop up a storm in Dubai, as Abu Dhabi is only about an hour's drive away.

We were set to depart on 13 Feb, and I had looked forward to going on my 1st long flight, when Fussy told me earlier that the trip had to be postponed. No wonder they say disappointment is bitter, cos' I swear the lump in my throat tasted worse than bittergourd.

This is all because of HP's incapability to deliver the goods on time. I swear, they are totally unreliable in their commitment to the customer. The order was submitted on 15 Jan and their stipulated delivery lead time was 21 working days. Now, it exceeds their given ETD and nobody can do anything about it. MNCs suck, BIG TIME!

I'm so frusrated! Because my office will be closed for the CNY week, I will be deducted 3 days' worth of annual leave for nothing. I can only stay to rot in sucky Singapore and I shudder at the prospect of having to fend off well-meaning relatives' questions about my womb and the productivity of it.

FXXX HEWLETT-PACKARD for ruining my getaway!

This is the bag that I'm feverishly lusting after right now...



The Chanel 2.55... 'nuff said.